Sleeping alone

My lover is elusive, my lover is fickle. My lover changes his mind at the last minute. My lover wants attention, my lover wants her space. She brings out the worst in me, he brings out the optimist in me. I call her when I’m horny, I call him when I’m needy, I call her when I want to cuddle, I call him when I’m bored. I have a lover, a one time thing, a fuck buddy, a buddy I fuck, a wife, a girlfriend, a husband, a god, a master, a slave. When she looks at me and smiles my day brightens and my throat clenches. When he looks at other women, my throat clenches and my breath catches.

I want a lover who is constant as the Seasons. I want a lover who is warm and loving as the Sun. I want a lover who is as passionate as the Storm. I want a lover who will keep me up at night and put me to sleep with a kiss. I want a lover whose touch is magic, whose voice is song and whose face could launch a thousand ships. I want the perfect mate with no morning breath and no surprises.

My lover and I shall walk the beach hand in hand leaving only one set of prints. We shall save money at restaurants and share all meals. My lover shall never argue with me or leave the toilet seat up. My lover shall always be there for me unless I wish to be alone. My lover shall never steal the covers or drool on my pillow. My lover shall never grow old or get fat, or tease me about my weight.

I shall hold steadfast to what I want, what I need. My lover is out there, perfect and shining. When we meet the heavens shall part and the trumpets will sound and I shall know without a shadow of a doubt that it is meant to be. Until then I shall be here waiting, hoping, dreaming and sleeping alone.