Rants

1)Cockblocking
There is nothing worse than being cock blocked, unless you are cock blocked by your own friend. That is the lowest of scum that one can possibly be. Now we aren’t talking scooping up some chick your boy is striking out with and nailing her good and often in the parking lot. We are talkin working against your buddy getting laid. Talkin your boy down in public, not letting him get his groove on, not laughing at his lame jokes, and not taking one for the team. Man, everyone plays wing man, everyone, you , me, jesus. Yes jesus, what would jesus do? He would take one for the fuckin team, because he was a stand up guy. But no, the cock blocker will try to get all women, not just one, but lure all of them away from all guys even if he doesn’t plan on closing the deal himself. Now a word for the ladies, you are the worst cock blockers of all time. You cock block not just your own friends but other people as well. Dude you will stop your ugly ass girlfriend from getting the lovin she so desperately needs to stop cutting herself because some guy will use her and not talk to her tomorrow. Come on sex is score one for everyone, maybe she just needed some deep dickin and cause you are such a prude you can’t even let her have some drunken pity sex. You disgust me. It is not too late to change, you no longer have to be a cum guzzling gutter whore. You can repent you can make amends. Say it with me, “It is my duty to help my buddy get that booty!”

Amen and Peace out.

2)The evils of sex
What’s with this sex thing huh? Sexin, sexy, sexual, sex assignment, sex role sextiginarian. Its all about fuckin. Why can’t we just say fuckin? Huh I mean what’s wrong with fuckin huh? Let us just call a fuckin spade aspade for once. Sex is a word to denote gender and motha fucka. No I don’t want to make love or, be intimate, or have tha sexing, I want to Fuck you in your big ass. Word to your Big ASS.

3)Fluffy Bunny Pagans
The views expressed in this rant are not necessarily the views of the writer they are meant in a humorous and lighthearted manner)

Fluffy Bunny Pagans how I love thee, let me count the ways: fried, fricasseed, julianned, roasted, raw and tied to a post. Because really what good are they, I mean except a drink and a quick fuck. I mean they believe anything anyway, if I happen to tell them I practice an ancient art of kundelini and that they have to ride my magick wand to initiate them to the 14th circle of mastery and they buy it then they get what they deserve. But for the Gods sakes ball-gag them. Because they might speak, and then there will be the drivel, the fairy wicca, the silver ravenwolf, the lywellyn, the buckland and anything else sold with coffee in the Barnes and Nobles occult section. If I hear one more god dammed “blessed be” from one more renaissance faire reject I will take that huge pentagram and shove it where the sun don’t shine and no razor has ever gone before. Cause really it wouldn’t kill you to trim that shit down ok. The goddess loves her less furry creatures too if you know what I mean.

$ Out