Relationships

I have thought many times after I read someone else’s journal and enjoy their prose and experience if I too should write a journal. My favorite right now is a Manhattanite swinger couple. The perspective is of the man and he and his g/f passionately go at each other and girls they find. I wonder if I have experiences worth recording and sharing. I’m sure I do. My girlfriend and her husband and I just bought a house. I have been in a poly relationship for 2 years now since November. I could write my memoirs early, my debauched past, my bragging memories.

I am honestly polyamorous and I learned it only this last year. I can love many people at once. It makes perfect since in abstract, we all love more than one person, we have relatives, friends, lovers, pets, confidants. These are alright to have, this idea of emotional cheating is such a pop-culture invention, we love whom we love. Cheating, when the love is physical is when it is unacceptable. Why? Commitment, taboo, phobia, fear, uncertainty, jealousy, possessiveness.
These words make it so. To have and to hold in sickness and in health forsaking all others. How naïve we are to ask this, to expect it.

We ask this married couple to sever ties of friends and blood, forsaking all others. Blood, blood is deep and wide and will tell. Forsaking all others, how could we, clan animals that we are living in communities and building friendships to survive. Progeny and Inheritance. Who is responsible for the child and whose name and blood does he carry? Will you leave me for someone younger? Will I grow old alone? Will you find someone better? Will you change and grow away from me?

Monogamous state marriage makes it hard to separate quickly and easily. But we can and do if we want to, we can leave and we can never come back in the blink of an eye. We have only our love to keep us together, and love constrained against its will grows sour and resentful. To be honest with ourselves we are where we are because we want to be or we are too weak to change it. We can at any moment if we are wiling to accept the consequences change anything about our personal lives.